Today’s tune is ‘You Ought To Know’ by Alanis Morrisette. I’m not seeing a connection with any of these. The first couple days were more of a c’mon you can do it type thing. The last two were more in the romance category. Maybe my brain wants a boyfriend? That doesn’t seem a great idea considering today’s installment.
I did mention to my therapist a few weeks ago that I wouldn’t be opposed to meeting someone. I’ve been single a long time. But it just seems like such a slog to get back out there. For one thing we’re still in the middle of a pandemic so just, no. Also, I’m disabled. While that doesn’t disqualify me from romantic entanglements it does make the whole thing a lot more complicated. It makes everything a lot more complicated 🤔
The best thing I can say about songs in my head is that they’ve somehow gotten me writing again, which was supposed to be the whole point of this blog.
Wedding Bell Blues. I even know why… sort of. I heard some music on a commercial and that got stuck in my head for awhile. It wasn’t random though so I didn’t really count it, but it was annoying enough for me to figure out where I’d heard it before and it was some song that I thought was by the 5th Dimension. Not that I’ve ever really listened to them, but there you have it. Later Wedding Bell Blues started playing in my head and driving me up the wall. I never liked the song. It’s not my kind of music, which is another thing that bugs me about this song in my head thing. Usually it’s not even a song I like. Why can’t I be serenaded by music I enjoy? What’s wrong with my brain?
I tried to change the song to Tom Petty’s “Don’t Come Around Here No More.” I’m not really wild about that song either but it would be more fitting. I found out yesterday that one of my family members is not vaccinated for Covid-19 and now has it. They brought it home to their family, who were vaccinated. Oddly enough I feel anger instead of concern. I feel a little guilty about that. But they were going to come out here last month to visit my mom on her 90th birthday. Seriously. What a complete asshole thing to do. Look, if you wanna think science isn’t real and you want to be an idiot and not take care of yourself fine, but when your actions put others in danger there’s no excuse and you’re just an asshole. It’s weird how people change. Kind of makes me sad.
So I was talking to my best friend about having a full brain. It’s sort of my brand of crazy. There’s so much in there that things just spill out, more specifically, songs. Every day I have some weird song stuck in my head and I don’t know why my brain picks these songs.
We talked about it a bit and it turns out she has the same problem. We both said at the same time that we should try and keep track of these things. Maybe my brain is trying to tell me something.
Yesterday the song was “High Hopes”. Specifically the song from the 50’s, not the more recent one. I didn’t even realize there was a more recent one until I was talking to my daughter and she told me. It’s by Panic! at the Disco. She even sang a bit for me and I was like ohhhh yeah. That ones better. I got the one that I remember from Laverne & Shirley.
Until today. Today’s song was Panic! at the Disco’s song. They’re totally different, it’s not a cover. This song is better but it’s not very original for my brain to pick that one. I still don’t understand why I get these random songs. I don’t even like a lot of them. Sometimes they’re just jingles from commercials. Anyway, I’m going to try to keep track of the song of the day here.
Brains are weird.
I can’t even believe all the shit that’s going on these days. It’s just insane!! I sure hope everyone remembers to vote in November.
I live with my daughter and granddaughter. It’s nice mostly. But things have been weird. I’m sure everyone knows that. It’s hard on all of us. The little ones have had their schedules totally disrupted, and that makes them a little crazy. It’s amazing how much better children cope with things when they have a normal schedule. Schools closed and that just sorta wreaked havoc on them. It’s nice to stay home with mom and gramma, but it makes the little one cranky too. No friends, no fun pre-school, and no one to really play with. I mean, we play with her….alot. But it’s not the same as having your friends. I feel for her. I’ve had some people say they’re too young to notice (she’s 5). It’s not true. They notice. Even if they don’t know what they’re responding to, they notice.
Plus, it makes the adults in the room and little spazzy. I mean, c’mon. It’s stressful to not know if going to get groceries is going to get you sick and lead to your death. That’s a lot of pressure. Even if it doesn’t get you sick, it’s weird. The city was so quiet, and the traffic so sparse. Now that June has hit there’s traffic everywhere and it seems crazy. Are they sure it’s safe? I think it’s probably too soon myself.
Being stuck in the house and not seeing people beyond who lives here doesn’t really bother me. I’m not one of those people who can’t stand it if I can’t go out and see folks, or eat in a restaurant, or get my hair done. I’m perfectly content to sit in my house all the time. There are plenty of things to do here. I’m not afraid of my own company, and when the company of my housemates gets to be too much I do have a door on my room. It’s not a hardship.
But it’s still scary, and it’s still different. The all night drive thru’s are closed. I’ve always been a night owl, and going out for a taco at 2am is never a bad thing is it? Except now it’s impossible. Not a big loss in the scheme of things, just an example of how it’s different now even if I don’t mind staying home. My computer died. That was not good. I do a lot on my computer, so I had to get a new one. That was harder than it sounds. The store had none. No computers less than $1,000. It was a trip. I had to order one online and wait a week to get it. Tough but manageable. Then we tried to get a bike so my daughter could ride with her daughter. No one has bikes either! It’s crazy.